Is sexual abstinence unrealistic? What is the meaning of unrealistic? One dictionary defines it as: an adjective meaning - "Not compatible with reality or fact; unreasonably idealistic: unrealistic expectations". I agree, anyone abstaining from sexual activity is not compatible with present-day reality or facts. I do not agree it is unreasonable or an unrealistic expectation.

I'm not a parent but I believe in good parenting, parents have high expectations of their children. This would encourage parents to work at being good examples for their children. They teach by example.

Would you say your child's well-being is priced at unrealistically high levels? Of course not! Your child is priceless and invaluable. Encouraging him/her to avoid all sexual activity until marriage is supportive of how priceless your child's well-being is to you. Remaining sexually inactive until marriage is what abstinence means.

Children are being taught by someone other than their parents. They are listening to someone else because we are not talking to them or doing so effectively. After talking to them, we are not giving them options to distract them from the hormonal overload they experience. As adults, cannot we identify and relate to that? It is even more difficult for mentally immature kids to cope than mature adults. We have to be there for them!

If one child hears another say it's unrealistic, they will believe it. But is it unrealistic for you as a parent to desire, want, or even ask your child to remain sexually inactive until marriage? We can take the easy way out and say, "Yes."

It will not be easy when your child tells you they have contracted AIDS/HIV. Or they are emotionally attached to some kid who only wanted to be friends with benefits. Your child was the one to put-out sexually, with no strings attached and now he/she thinks they have fallen in love. They have fallen in love with someone who has found another friend with benefits.

It will not be easy when your adult child tells you they are confused about their worth as a human being because they were the one who slept with anyone who wanted sex instead of being the one everyone desired but never had.

It will not be easy when you're left to consider raising a grandchild or discover by accident your grandchild was aborted.

How unrealistic is it to know your child waited to give her/his mind, soul and body to someone they have decided to spend the rest of their life with in Holy Matrimony? The Jonas Brother's are being taught to respect females and not take advantage of them in any way. There is availability but little opportunity because of seemingly good parenting.

When a child who has had a child tells our children it is unrealistic to remain sexually inactive until marriage, we are permitting that child/parent to parent our kids. It was unrealistic for her but will you permit it to be unrealistic for your child?

by Avis Ward (c) 2009 February 25